Patience

Um..I think this picture says it all for today!!!

This adoption journey: not what I expected.

This adoption process has not been what I expected. When God asked us to step out in faith by adopting a child, I had a nice little scenario in my mind of how it would all play out.  We would get our paperwork and homestudy done in about 6 months time; Our dossier would be sent to the Philippines and approved in the expected 2-3 months. We would find a child on the special home finding list and be approved within weeks time, and the whole adoption process would happen within 18 months to 2 years. I thought this was a realistic expectation, leaving room for some of the "expected" bumps and delays.  What I didn't expect was for our homestudy from start to finish to take almost a year. What I didn't expect was for my mother-in-law to be diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and pass away in the midst of our adoption. What I didn't expect was to see the picture of a little girl in September and be waiting even now, four months later, to see if we will be approved to be her parents. What I didn't expect was to feel so lonely in this process. What I didn't expect was my heart to ache this way for children around the world. What I didn't expect was for God to stir my heart to want to advocate for children. What I didn't expect was for God to turn my life up-side-down. What I didn't expect was for Him to take the hardships of this adoption journey and make me a different person.

Sometimes, walking with God in faith doesn't live up to our expectations. We expect to see immediate results of our bold step of faith, like Peter when he spoke on the day of Pentecost and multitudes were saved; but we fail to remember the steps of faith Peter took prior to that day without seeing the results.  We expect, when we step out in faith, to feel power and never doubt. We expect God's plan for our lives to unfold without a hitch. But God doesn't want to meet our expectations, He wants to exceed our expectations.  He wants to take our lives and turn them up-side-down. He wants to use the bumps in the journey to strengthen our faith. He wants to break our heart for what breaks His; He wants one step of faith to lead to another. It's not about taking just one little step of faith. It's about continuing to walk in faith, and you will see God's power in ways you never expected. As you continue in a journey of faith, God will change your heart. He will change your point of view. You will begin to see things in this life the way God truely sees them. And even when your journey of faith is not what you expected, you will look back and see that it has far exceeded your expecations. You will not be the same person you were when you started. God will use the days you feel lonely, to bring you closer to Him. He will take the LONG days of waiting in your journey to show you how His timing is perfect. He will take the unexpected storms to show you how you are safe in His hands; He will guide you through unexpected loss and become your source of comfort.  His strength will sustain you when you feel you can't go on. He takes the unexpected and does something with it far greater than we could ever imagine, drawing us closer to Him. And so, in this adoption journey, I am sure there will be many more unexpected bumps in the road, but I am going to trust Him. He will get me through. He will make me into the vessel He wants me to be. He will sustain my strength. And in the days ahead, when we finally get to meet our little one, I am sure that I will be able to testify of God's faithfulness in a whole new way.

A Mother's Heart

Yesterday when I arrived home from work, there was a stack of my son's school work on the table. My little first grader was so excited to show me his work because he had gotten a "check +" on all of them. (Equivalent to an A+). One of the papers made my "mother's heart" burst with pride. He had written a paper that I have to share. (I fixed his spelling for him!!)

"Improving our World" by Micah Lewis
"The world could be improved if everybody believed in God and Jesus. I can walk to a airplane with my Bible and while I am walking I will look for people who don't believe in God and Jesus and if I find someone who doesn't believe in God and Jesus, I will read the Bible and While I am riding on the plane, I will Read the Bible. And I will Read the Bible to the People that don't believe God and Jesus."

Mind you, he is in a public school. When he started Kindergarten last year, we knew we would no longer be able to afford the private Christian school our daughter was attending. With much prayer and a little bit of trepidation on my part, we decided to put them in the school that is directly across the street from our neighborhood. God gave me complete peace with this decision and we actually LOVE it there! I am so proud of my son and I believe God has great plans for his life. Even at this age, he is shinning the light of Jesus in his classroom. Isn't that what God calls us all to do?

I can't wait to see what God has in store for him, Natalie and for our little one in the Philippines. I can't wait for more moments that make my "mother's heart" burst with pride.

(By the way...Micah is still determined that we are going to adopt a boy and a girl and prays about it EVERY night....Hmm...we are going to have to continue to pray about that! I am not sure I can handle another long adoption process like this one!!!)