This adoption journey: not what I expected.

This adoption process has not been what I expected. When God asked us to step out in faith by adopting a child, I had a nice little scenario in my mind of how it would all play out.  We would get our paperwork and homestudy done in about 6 months time; Our dossier would be sent to the Philippines and approved in the expected 2-3 months. We would find a child on the special home finding list and be approved within weeks time, and the whole adoption process would happen within 18 months to 2 years. I thought this was a realistic expectation, leaving room for some of the "expected" bumps and delays.  What I didn't expect was for our homestudy from start to finish to take almost a year. What I didn't expect was for my mother-in-law to be diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and pass away in the midst of our adoption. What I didn't expect was to see the picture of a little girl in September and be waiting even now, four months later, to see if we will be approved to be her parents. What I didn't expect was to feel so lonely in this process. What I didn't expect was my heart to ache this way for children around the world. What I didn't expect was for God to stir my heart to want to advocate for children. What I didn't expect was for God to turn my life up-side-down. What I didn't expect was for Him to take the hardships of this adoption journey and make me a different person.

Sometimes, walking with God in faith doesn't live up to our expectations. We expect to see immediate results of our bold step of faith, like Peter when he spoke on the day of Pentecost and multitudes were saved; but we fail to remember the steps of faith Peter took prior to that day without seeing the results.  We expect, when we step out in faith, to feel power and never doubt. We expect God's plan for our lives to unfold without a hitch. But God doesn't want to meet our expectations, He wants to exceed our expectations.  He wants to take our lives and turn them up-side-down. He wants to use the bumps in the journey to strengthen our faith. He wants to break our heart for what breaks His; He wants one step of faith to lead to another. It's not about taking just one little step of faith. It's about continuing to walk in faith, and you will see God's power in ways you never expected. As you continue in a journey of faith, God will change your heart. He will change your point of view. You will begin to see things in this life the way God truely sees them. And even when your journey of faith is not what you expected, you will look back and see that it has far exceeded your expecations. You will not be the same person you were when you started. God will use the days you feel lonely, to bring you closer to Him. He will take the LONG days of waiting in your journey to show you how His timing is perfect. He will take the unexpected storms to show you how you are safe in His hands; He will guide you through unexpected loss and become your source of comfort.  His strength will sustain you when you feel you can't go on. He takes the unexpected and does something with it far greater than we could ever imagine, drawing us closer to Him. And so, in this adoption journey, I am sure there will be many more unexpected bumps in the road, but I am going to trust Him. He will get me through. He will make me into the vessel He wants me to be. He will sustain my strength. And in the days ahead, when we finally get to meet our little one, I am sure that I will be able to testify of God's faithfulness in a whole new way.

The God who KNOWS part II

This blog post has little to do with our adoption, but it is something that has been brewing in my mind and heart since my last post about the God who knows. It will apply to pretty much anyone and everyone, so make sure you pass it on if you find it inspiring or thought provoking.

Have you ever thought about the power of knowledge? If you know someone in an intimate relationship, a close friend, a spouse, a son or daughter, you form a bond with them that is not easily broken. In battle, knowledge is priceless. If you know your enemy's next move, or you know where the enemy has hidden, you will win the battle. We serve the God of all knowledge. The Scripture is full of verses showing us just how much He knows.
 He knows you intimately. He knows your name. He knows your thoughts, your life, your hurts, your desires. You may be familar with Psalm 139, but I encourage you to read it again. Our God is a God who created each one of us and who knows your comings and your goings, who knit you together in our mother's womb. Psalm 44:21 says He "knows the secrets of the heart". He knows your needs. Matthew 6:8b "for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." His knowledge of you is not just a head knowledge; it is an intimate knowledge, a loving, compassionate burning desire for you to know Him in the way He knows you. He's not a God far-off, letting the world tear itself apart; He's a God who "knows those who are His" (2 Tim. 2:19.) Like a Father who knows His child, He knows you and He loves you.

Not only does He know you intimately and care deeply for you,  He knows your future. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you" delcares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a future and a hope." When we are in the midst of a trial, He knows what comes next. Nothing can thwart the plans of God, and His plans for you are GOOD! 2 Peter 2:9  says He "knows how to rescue the godly from trials." Wow! Only our God can rescue us from the trials of this world, because He knows how. He knows your enemy and can combat his next move. He knows your outcome. Job 23:10 said "he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold."

He knows so much more than this, but these are just a few things to ponder.  Trusting the God who knows should be so easy, but in the midst of waiting and in the midst of difficult times, it isn't. Our family is going through a trial right now and I am learning to trust the One who knows in a whole new way. Aren't you glad that in the midst of so much unknown, and waiting for an answer, that there is One who knows? When you don't know how to pray, He still knows what you are trying to say. When you are torn by uncertainty, there is One who knows and He holds you in the palm of His hand.

The Giving Challenge-You Can't Outgive God!

Several months ago, God issued a giving challenge to me and my husband that has changed my life forever. We were at a missions banquet for Speed the Light and Missionary David Grant said something that absolutely BLEW ME AWAY!  He said that he gives 50% of his personal income back into missions.  Here was someone whose entire life was devoted to living, going and telling the world about Christ and he gave one half of his money back into ministry. One glance at my own giving record and I could see that I was barely giving above my 10% tithe. Sure, occassionally, I would give to a special project or donate to Speed the Light, but never on a consistent basis would I give out of my own pocket above what was required of me. God spoke very clearly to my heart about what we were supposed to do. He told me we were to take 100% of the money we were paying for Natalie's Christian education and put it into missions. He promised me if we did this, He would take care of our kids at public school. This was a challenge for me; you see, I had already figured on that money going to be used for other purposes. But God had other plans. He confirmed this with my husband and together we decided to take God's giving challenge for our lives. About that same time God told us to step out in faith and begin the adoption process. Now in my thinking, I was wondering why God had us give that money away when the cost of adoption was so much. Wouldn't He want us to put that money toward our adoption? But following God's clear voice, we gave as He directed. And I have to say, these past few months I have been amazed by God's faithfulness to us! Our kids have wonderful teachers and they love their school. We have had over $2,000 given toward our adoption and we have had the priviledge to be a part of some wonderful ministries including the following: Project Rescue, a ministry to young girls who have been sold into the sex slave; we have added a missionary to our monthly giving at our church; we have been giving to Speed the Light on a monthly basis...and I cannot wait to give more! It is so exciting to be a part of what God is doing in and through these ministries.

I believe God is asking His people to take the giving challenge. The giving challenge is a personal challenge God has for you. First of all, if you are not giving your 10% tithe, God says in His word that we are to give 10%.  Trust me, He will take care of you if you will obey Him in this. Secondly, He is asking His people to give above and beyond their tithe. For our family it was about an additional 5% of our income. For others it may be an additional $15 per month or 2% of your salary or maybe for some even 50% of your income....and I encourage you to examine your giving often. As God blesses you, keep giving more--You can NEVER outgive God!

Here's a list of some awesome ministries you could give to above your tithe (your 10% should go to your local church body.)

Project Rescue: a ministry to girls or women who have been sold into sexual slavery. http://www.projectrescue.com/
Assemblies of God Family Services Agency: a children's home, a maternity home and much more. http://www.agfamilyservices.org/
A brand new ministry near and dear to my heart (The next one I am going to make a pledge to support!)
Mission 1:27- An adoption and orphan care ministry, meeting special project needs of children's homes around the world. http://www.mission127.com/.
You could "adopt" a child through Latin American Childcare ministries (another thing I want to do!) For around $30 per month you can help with the basic necessities for a child who has nothing. http://www.latinamericanchildcare.org/.
Speed the Light- a ministry devoted to providing vehicles, media equipment and sound equipment to missionaries around the world. http://www.stl.org/

These are just a few ministries which I know are personally sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Pray about what God is asking you do to and then act in obedience! God will bless you in ways you cannot even imagine.