Tuesday, April 23, 2013

One Day at a time

Do you ever just feel completely and utterly helpless as a parent? Today was one of those days. Joy was scheduled to be tested today by a  psychologist who specializes in dealing with children with epilepsy and learning delays.  I was really looking forward to this testing because I desperately want to help Joy learn and grow academically.  I felt like this was the next step and we would gain some ground on figuring out the puzzle and helping her learn to read, do math, and socialize better.  BUT....after about an hour of questions with very few answers from Joy that made any sense, the psychologist decided that it would be better to wait at least another 4-6 months before doing the actual testing because Joy's English is so delayed. He wasn't sure the testing would be very accurate since she has difficulty expressing herself and we don't know exactly how much she understands of what we are telling her. So, we are back to square one. And I feel completely and utterly helpless. Where do we go from here? I feel like we have come so far in 6 1/2 months, and yet we have so far to go. I feel helpless on how to assist Joy in getting where she needs to be academically. The psychologist recommended speech therapy, which she is already in at school. He recommended occupational therapy, which she also already does weekly. Are we already doing what we need to do? It seems like we should be doing more. Sometimes it feels like we are just going 'round and 'round in circles and getting nowhere in helping her!

I struggle often with sorting out the pieces to the puzzle of adoption and learning delays. What part of Joy's delays are due to the physical malformation in her brain? What part of her delays are due to being in an orphanage with much younger children? How has the life-changing event of adoption affected her? How in the WORLD do we sort this out? And so, we just take it one day at a time. On days like today, when I feel helpless, I pray and I think about how far we have come.  I pray for guidance to find the right therapists and the right child care for summertime. I pray for her teachers and for the transition next year at school. I pray that I will have the knowledge and wisdom on how to help her as her mom.  And I pray for Joy, that God will give her peace and strength and she will learn and grow to become the person God created her to be. I am so glad that although I may not have any of the answers, I serve a God who has ALL the answers. So for now, I am doing all I can do-just taking it one day at a time.

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