Monday, February 25, 2013

Woven Together

I have a confession to make. I am just now, finally,  almost five months after bringing Joy home from the Philippines, feeling the love for my new little one that I imagined I would feel from the very beginning. My adoption journey has been very different than some of my friends. When I first saw Joy's picture, I did not have that epiphany moment, saying "She's the one! That's my girl!" I never fell completely in love with her picture. I guess it was because I knew there was a possibility that the Philippine government would say "no" to our request to adopt her.  My prayer was always..."Lord, if this is your will, please let them say yes. But if not, please bring the right child into our family and the right family for her." After  the intense and LONG wait when we received word that Joy was ours, I was so excited. I tried to imagine what she would be like and how she would fit into our family. I prayed for her every day and wondered often what she was doing. But NEVER in my imagining did I think that she would react to me the way she did.  And honestly, it hurt me deeply. I wondered what we had gotten ourselves into and how I could love a child that disliked me so much.  I worried that we had "ruined" our family and what would happen if she never changed. Our transition was rough. I cried many tears. Joy cried many tears. My 8 year old son asked his children's pastor for prayer because he was "stressed out" because of the way his new sister was acting. My 11 year old daughter became frustrated very quickly. I had to remind myself often that God is in this adoption journey and He has a plan. I had to trust Him that it was going to be alright and He knows what is best for our family.

Joy came from an orphange where she was loved since she was born. I didn't realize her ties would be so strong and she would grieve so deeply. I am so grateful to her caretakers and the orphange directors because it is a testiment of their great care for the children. In the beginning, Joy cried for them often. Now that she is more comfortable here and has learned to love and trust us, Joy speaks frequently of her many "Ate's" who cared for her and the orphanage directors who obviously love her dearly.   Now just a few months later, I stand amazed at what God has done so far. He took this little, scared and hurting girl and He weaved her into our family. He took my fears and insecurities, and helped me understand and love Joy in a very special way.

Now, I cannot imagine our family without our spunky, loveable, adorable little girl. She makes me laugh with her funny phrases. She makes my day brighter with her many hugs and kisses. She lights up the room with her smile.  She praises Jesus with all her heart. She melts my heart with her prayers for others. Joy enjoys playing with Natalie and Micah now and they get along like they have always been siblings! She has truely woven her way into our family and into my heart.  I am so thankful to have the "feelings" of love to finally go along with the actions. 

 I am so thankful to God for giving us our little Filipina girl and I can't wait until her adoption is finalized so I can show off her beautiful little face!


  1. Thank you Jenna for writing this! I am so happy for you and your family's transition. I can't wait to see a picture of your beautiful daughter. :)

    I am asking for a little prayer though, on behalf of my family. My littlest sister was 4 years old when she came home and will be 7 in just a couples weeks. Because just like you were wondering a couple months ago about "wrecking" your family - this is how we feel right now. My sister T has become more defiant and we have seen changes and stress in my little brothers (ages 7 and 10) lives because of her attitudes and behaviors. My mom has taken most of her garbage, but we are doing our best to teach her what is best.


  2. Michlyn, I am definitly keeping your family in my prayers! I can only imagine what your family is going through, but God does have a divine plan for your family and it is GOOD! Do you have people to help you through these diffcult issues? There are many great adoption counselors and support groups for entire families . It sounds like you might need to reach out and get some help. If you need help finding some good resources in your area, please let me know and I will try to help you out in any way I can. If your mom would ever like to contact me, my e-mail is on this blog under "contact". Sometimes it helps just to have a sounding board! I am praying for you even now!

  3. I am so glad to hear things are going better!! I was just going to email and ask for an update. Your story sound so very much like mine, like our families. It is tough I know, but God can and does heal hearts, and he is healing both mine and Kim's, one day at a time. Sometimes we take a few steps back but over all we are seeing an upward trend in healing. So happy for you guys that everyone is doing better and a round of applause to you for being brave enough to speak out about your journey! As much as you may have felt( or feel) like you are alone in this, you are not. So many adoptive families go through this but are afraid to speak out. But no good comes from being silent, it only builds isolation and shame.