Philippines Day 1-Meeting Joy

The next morning, we made the arrangements to meet the I.C.A.B. social worker and our driver at the hotel so we could go to the orphanage to meet Joy. This was our first "real" glimpse of the city of Manila.

When we booked our hotel, we purposely booked it in the closest "safe" area of town to the orphanage. We thought we were only about 10 minutes away from the orphanage-but we had no idea how to account for Manila traffic! What would have taken 10 minutes in our city, took well over an hour in Manila. Traffic was insane. Cars honking, people walking in middle of the traffic selling goods, street children begging, Jeepenys, and buses. I felt terribly claustrophobic.

Joy's orphanage was in a "gated" community with a guard outside of it. That sounds nice-but it really wasn't. The streets leading up to the orphanage had little homes made out of cardboard and maybe tin roofs where people lived. The poverty was overwhelming.

When we pulled up to the orphanage, I was surprised at how nice it was. It was surrounded by a cement wall and a large guard dog named Trigger greeted us at the gate. We were warmly welcomed by Ate J who was the social worker at the orphanage and ushered into a large front room that was the office. After a few minutes of "chit chat" Ate J asked us if we wanted to meet Joy. A few minutes later I heard what sounded like a scream/cry and I was told that was Joy. I asked if she was crying or scared and I was told she was excited.

It was quite a surreal experience to meet Joy for the first time. I could tell that Joy was nervous when she entered the room. I could also tell that she was well loved and taken care of. Her hair was fixed in a pretty French braid with barrettes and she was holding the Ate's hand. She looked at Natalie right away and basically clung to her the rest of the time. She did give me a small hug and sat on my lap for a minute at the urging of one of the Ate's-but that didn't last long.

At one point while we were there, Joy touched Darren's nose and said something in Tagalog. All those in the room that understood what she said, laughed! She had told Darren he had a big nose!

We got a tour of the orphanage. It was very nice and the Ate's were so kind. I could tell that the babies were well loved. There were so many adorable babies. I wanted to hold them, but I knew it was more important for me to focus on Joy. I did not want her to think we were there for the babies. She had seen all of her friends be adopted, and now it was her turn. She was chosen. Even though she was loved in the orphanage, there was a hole in her heart. She wanted a family, and we were there to be that family.

The missionaries who run the orphanage arrived while we were getting the tour. They had cut their vacation short to come see Joy off to her new family. They were kind and I could tell they loved Joy so very much.

We only stayed about an hour or so before heading back to the hotel. We would come back the following day to pick Joy up and take her with us.

Our journey had only just begun!

The Flight

Over the next several posts, I am going to share in detail about our adoption journey to the Philippines to bring our daughter home. There are several reasons I did not do this a year ago. For one, the journey was intense and I was absolutely exhausted. A second reason, I struggled for a long while, both while there in the Philippines and for several months after coming home and I honestly didn't want to share publically, especially since Joy's adoption wasn't finalized.

Why am I sharing now? I want other adoptive families to know it is ok to struggle. Maybe even normal. I want to share my experiences so I can hopefully help someone else on their journey. Joy's adoption should be final in the next couple weeks, so I feel it is a good time to share the details.

The Flight

October 2nd, 2012

Not many children can say their parents flew through a typhoon to bring them home-but Joy can! I think our flight was our first indication of how difficult this journey would be.  The day started out great! I got more sleep than I imagined I would and woke up refreshed and ready for our 24 hours of travel to the Philippines. I felt a little anxious, but more excited than anything.

We arrived at the Louisville airport, feeling relaxed and ready to go. We made it through security with no issues and had time to get Starbucks. Our first flight was a piece of cake. Just a hop, skip and a jump and we were in Detroit. In Detroit, we had a significant layover before our 14 hour flight to Tokyo. 

The flight to Tokyo is where it got rough. I was too excited or anxious to read or sleep, so I put a movie on. The kids were settled in. The first 10 or 12 hours were smooth, and I even snoozed a bit. By about 12 hours into our flight, we started going through some intense turbulence. The plane dropped like an elevator falling-or maybe the Tower of Terror ride at Disney World and people screamed. For almost 2 hours the plane dropped and bumped and shook. Babies cried and kids got sick. One of them was my kid. Micah, who was sitting next to me got sick all over himself. The little baggie...it did no good. I tried to page the stewardess, but she was not any help. There were people getting sick all over the plane. I tried to clean him up with one of the airline "blankets", but he had to sit that way for over 1/2 hour.

Finally, after a very bumpy decent, we landed almost an hour behind schedule at the Tokyo airport. We were late for our connecting flight to Manila. Running through the airport, Natalie got sick. Thankfully, the airport employees were very kind and helped us find the restrooms and jump to the head of the line so we would not miss our flights.

The take off again was very bumpy. Flying through a typhoon was absolutely TERRIBLE!!!  We arrived in Manila, absolutely exhausted. The airport was crowded and it was tiring trying to maneuver through all the people. Thankfully, our friend, who was our tour guide and driver while we were there, met us at the airport and took us safely through the traffic to our hotel.

Our hotel was beautiful and very westernized. I did not get much sleep that night, even though I was exhausted! I knew the next day I would meet our little girl!

It would be so much easier....

We are nearing the 1 year mark of the day we met Joy for the first time.  I can hardly believe it! We are awaiting, somewhat impatiently, a court date for when we can finalize Joy’s adoption.  We should hear back (hopefully) from the lawyer sometime in the next week or so.

While we have not finalized Joy’s adoption in court, she has become our daughter in our hearts.  We cannot imagine our lives without her.  Her spunky nature has brought so much fullness into our lives and it has been such an honor to be a part of the amazing transformation in Joy over this past year.

When we began Joy’s adoption, I never dreamed that God would radically change my life the way He did.  Our family took a very huge step of faith, both financially and emotionally when we began the process to adopt Joy.  And God provided every step of the way. We had the money when we needed it. We had the strength when we needed it. He provided for every little detail, and in the process He stretched our faith.  God is quite funny that way. I thought my faith had been stretched enough, but it seems God has other ideas. God has been stirring our hearts toward adopting again.  At first we thought about adopting through the US foster care system. It would be much easier financially. We would have to travel. The process would be much, much simpler in many ways.  However, just last week, I found a little boy who needs a home on a special focus list from China, and I cannot quit thinking about him. It would cost around $30,000.00 to adopt him and I was told the process would only take about 10-12 months. There is no possible way for us in and of ourselves to come up with that kind of cash! It seems impossible. It is quite daunting and it seems absolutely CRAZY! While I can’t say for sure that God has called us to adopt this little boy, God does specialize in things that are impossible without Him. Pray for us! We desperately need guidance and direction!  Whether or not God is calling us to adopt this little boy, I know in our hearts He is calling us to adopt again someday!

It would be so much easier to say no. It would be so much easier to say we have done our part. It would be so much easier to continue on with our lives the way we are and look the other way. But God does not tell us to live comfortable lives.

It would be so much easier to NOT have to fill out the mounds of paperwork again. Or complete home study visits and background checks and FBI fingerprinting.  Or travel to a foreign country. It would be so much simpler to NOT have to cry and pray and try to come up with $30,000. Or fill out 100 applications for grants. Or sacrifice our vacation, lattes at Starbucks, and anything else we can come up with to save money. Or do a ton of fundraisers.

 It would be so much easier to NOT have to try to integrate another child into our family. And deal with the child’s grief of leaving behind the life he never knew. And deal with a slew of emotional unknowns. And deal with the growing pains associated with adding another family member.

Although a big part of me does NOT want to go through the international adoption process again, there is a part of me that is excited to see what God can do. I feel Him telling me, “Trust me. The money is just a drop in the bucket to me. Trust me. The sacrifices you make will be worth it all.”

While it would be so much easier to just continue life as a family of 5, I don’t want to live an easy life. I want live my life to the fullest, following Him every step of the way.  I want to know God and trust Him in ways I have never trusted Him before. I want to see Him do the miraculous. Please pray with us as we continue on this journey of faith. If we decide God is calling us to adopt this little boy from China, it will be the biggest step of faith we have ever taken and we need clear confirmation whether or not this is what God wants us to do.  Thank you for your prayers as we continue to seek God's will for our family!